


Finding Each Other

by subv_rsive



Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: Angst and Romance, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Joel (The Last of Us) Lives, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Relationship, Lesbian Romance, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, The Last of Us Spoilers, some story changes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:55:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25835350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/subv_rsive/pseuds/subv_rsive
Summary: Dina has lived in Jackson for most of her life. She's adjusted well, found several friends, and even has a boyfriend. Even with a zombie apocalypse happening, she's found safety and happiness and predictability in the town. One day, a new girl visits who Dina is interested in getting to know. While most people Dina meet are enthusiastic to be her friend, this new girl isn't. Not only is Dina confused by this but a series of disorderly events elicit many confusing emotions inside her.
Relationships: Cat & Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina & Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina & Jesse (The Last Of Us), Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 101





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (TLOU1 spoilers.)
> 
> [changes to main story: Joel and Ellie do not immediately go back to Jackson after he goes apeshit at the firefly hospital and rescues her. They travel for a while before meeting up with Tommy and Maria again. In this story, Ellie, Dina, Jesse, and most of their peers are 17.]

“Jesse!” Dina screams outside of the house. 

The neighborhood that her boyfriend lives in is currently vacant. Most of the Jackson residents are at dinner in the cafeteria, but Dina is waiting for Jesse to finish showering after his late patrol. After using Jackson’s intercom system to contact each other, Jesse tells her that he’ll be ready in fifteen minutes. Half an hour has already passed, which prompts Dina to walk around the perimeter of his house. She pauses for a moment when she sees that the backyard door is swung open.

Dina yells Jesse’s name once she enters through the door. She looks around his backyard, quickly trying to find him. After waiting a few minutes, she walks towards the backdoor. She timidly peaks through a nearby window and sees the inside of the house is barren. Just as she begins sighing from disappointment, a head bobs up from the other side of the window and its eyes meet hers.

Dina screams in fright and stumbles backwards. After composing herself, she realizes that it’s Jesse on the other side of glass and becomes livid. A flurry of curse words escape her mouths as Jesse opens the backdoor to greet her.

“H-hey, babe,” Jesse says with a cautious smile.

Dina gives him an irate glare before continuing to curse him out. “You scared me shitless!” she screamed.

Jesse jovially laughs and goes to hug Dina, to which she submits to. Inside of Jesse’s arms, she calms down. “If you do that again, I swear to God I will break up with you,” she says.

“Don’t scare you again. Got it,” Jesse says. He gives Dina a sincere look before patting her back in an effort to further soothe her. 

After a few minutes, Dina breaks apart from Jesse’s hug and says, “Want to head to lunch now?”

Jesse nods. The couple move out of the backyard and trudge through the heavy snow. A commotion is heard at the center of town. The sound of music, conversation, and laughter become louder and louder as the two make their way to the cafeteria.

“How was your day?” Jesse asks.

Dina exhales a large cloud of vapor and replies, “Good. Patrol was short because we didn’t bump into any infected.”

Jesse gives her a smile. “They know not to cross you.”

“Yea, right,” Dina sarcastically says then laughs. “How was your day?”

“Good. I was with Jacob patrolling that weird route through suburbs. Wasn’t the easiest day out considering there were some bloaters in the basement of a …” Jesse drifts off into a monologue detailing more of his day. Dina listens to him but is becoming increasingly more distracted by the plethora of people around her.  _ Why is everyone crowding around outside? _ Dina wonders. She edges closer to Jesse’s side, and he takes the opportunity to hug her with his large winter coat. The two walk together like a clumsy, four-legged creature through the crowd until the streets become so dense that they can no longer move.

“What’s happening?” Jesse asks. He peers above the heads of people. Dina, being a foot shorter than him, looks around desperately at the others then back up to Jesse’s face. His brows are lowered and he’s staring intently at something.

“Jesse,” Dina says. She tries to get his attention, but the noise surrounding them is too loud for her words to be heard. Just as she is becoming frustrated, the people in the crowd start to shift in various directions. Jesse pulls Dina away, placing them between two other couples. A space begins to clear in front of them that is only occupied by four people - Tommy, Maria, a tall man, and a teenage girl.

Dina looks at the man first. His large, brown coat exaggerates his already wide shoulders. He stands next to Tommy, grasping his arm in a friendly way. Dina wonders how they know each other considering she’s never seen the man before. His face is serious but not necessarily scary. Dina thinks the expression makes him seem incredibly stern.  


Dina’s eyes drift off to the girl beside him. The moment she locks her eyes onto her, she raises her eyebrows and squeezes her hand on Jesse’s arm. The girl is around her height, but Dina gauges she’s most likely an inch or two taller. She has short, reddish brown hair tied into a ponytail. She looks down, and a few loose strands of hair cover her eyes. Even though her face wasn't clear, Dina could tell that the girl is incredibly cute in a way she’s never really seen before. There was  _ cute _ like Jesse with his warm smile, spiky hedgehog hair, and inviting eyes. Then there was  _ cute _ like this strange girl with her pout-y lips, timid posture, and distracted facial expression. Dina has this spontaneous desire to go up and speak to her.

“Sorry about everyone. Ya’ caught us at dinner time, an’ everyone’s tryin’ to meet you,” Tommy says. He whispers something into the other man’s ear and then leads him into an obscure direction. The crowd parts while looking curiously at the man. Maria and the girl follow them.

“Who is that?” Jesse asks a man to our side.

The man scratches his beard and shrugs. “Dunno, but folks say he’s Tommy’s brother.”

Dina’s lips part unconsciously. Without much deliberation, she asks, “A-and the girl?”

The man shrugs again. “Maybe his daughter? They came in through the south gate uh few minutes ago. Didn’t even stop to frisk them or anythin’. Just let ‘em through.”

Jesse pulls Dina closer into a hug. He looks around and sees the crowd dispersing, so he walks with his girlfriend towards the cafeteria. A dozen thoughts are spinning in Dina’s mind after the brief experience.  _ Tommy’s brother? I never even knew he had one. Is he and that girl going to stay here? Is she my age? Where did they come from? Where did she come from? _

The flurry of questions distract Dina the entire evening. Even with a hearty bowl of soup and bread, she couldn’t stop thinking about the girl. Jesse notices and tries to snap her back to attention by bringing up her patrol schedule, but she responds in a terse manner. The image of the red-headed girl is still her mind but sadly becomes blurrier and less detailed by the second. Dina wants to see her again in order to cement her portrait into her memory.

…

Dina hasn't seen the new girl in two weeks, except for a short time during the weekend at the cafeteria. She was with Jesse and his friends when she spotted her in the corner piling several strings of beef jerky into her arms. Dina had to bury her face into her shirt sleeve to not immediately burst out laughing.  _ Who is this string bean girl taking all the jerky? _

The experience left the impression that the new girl seemed somewhat droll. The only other quality that Dina has confidently assigned to her was that she was very cute.

It was only coming back from patrols one day did she see a sight of that red-hair. Dina was walking her horse Peanut-Butter back into the stables when she overheard Maria speaking to someone. Curious as to who it was, she peeked over her horse’s stall to see the new girl.

“Shimmer has a sweet temperament as long as you treat her right,” the older woman says.

The younger girl nods, putting her hand up to the horse’s side. She lightly brushes her hand against the animal, and she whinnies at her touch. 

Dina stops moving. She’s glued to this spot in the ground. Peanut-Butter, already in her stall, curiously looks over at Dina’s still body. He huffs and nudges Dina out, to which the girl exclaims, “Hey!”

The new girl is the first to turn her head to Dina. Maria’s follows. The two women look at Dina as she blushes and tries to compose herself. “Shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you guys.”

Dina freezes when her eyes meet the new girl’s. From this shorter distance, she can see the color of her irises. Her mouth parts in a quiet gasp as she examines their light green color. Dina has never seen an emerald in real life before, but she imagines this is the closest she will ever get into looking into the gemstone. Each subtle move the girl makes shows the various hues of green and hazel in her eyes.  


“Dina,” Maria says. “It’s fine. Have you met Ellie?”

Dina glances at Maria for a split second before quickly returning her stare back to the girl. “No. I haven’t.”

Maria places her hand on Ellie’s shoulder and pushes her forward. The girl stumbles from the push and curses underneath her breath. She looks down at the ground, breaking the two girls' eye contact.  


“Ellie,” Maria says sternly. “Introduce yourself.”

Ellie frowns before inhaling and looking up at Dina. Her expression isn’t necessarily inviting, but it isn’t hostile. Dina can see from the way her eyebrows are raised to how her eyes beam gingerly that she’s more shy than she is standoffish. 

“Ellie,” the red-headed girl says.

Dina stands with her mouth open before becoming aware of how awkward she is being. She breaks into a tight smile and excitedly waves at Ellie. “Dina! It’s nice meeting you.”

The girl doesn’t respond. She's quiet. Dina is excitedly smiling to a stranger that isn’t reciprocating it in any way, and Maria is staring at her. A tang of embarrassment hits.

Maria clears her throat. “Well, Ellie is going to be staying in Jackson for the time being. She won’t be doing partnered patrols, but we’re already introducing her to the horses for when she does.”

Dina nods. She looks at Ellie and notices that she’s staring off at the wall beside her, attempting to distance herself from the conversation that’s unfolding. Her hands are in her pockets, and she taps her foot against the ground.

“Oh? That sounds like such good news. I’m happy she’s here,” Dina warmly says. She looks at the other girl, expecting a reaction, but receives none.

Maria gives a warm smile to Dina, reassuring the young girl. “Thank you, Dina. I may ask you later this week to show her around. Would you mind doing that?”

Dina shakes her head. “Not at all!”

Maria nods. She taps Ellie’s shoulder and guides her past Dina to move to another stall. Dina initially stands there for a few moments before she realizes she’s to head home. She rocks back and forth a bit, not wanting to leave and simply be in Ellie’s presence but wills herself to go. As she’s walking out, she overhears Maria giving a few adages to the younger girl. “Ellie, you won’t make any new friends acting as sour as vinegar. Be sweet like Honey - or Dina.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dina takes up Maria's offer to show Ellie around town.

Dina sits down. She’s surrounded by a group of toddlers, and they’re all staring at her with large, inquisitive eyes. A copy of  Goodnight Moon is in her hands, and she’s reading the pages aloud.

Just as she reaches the final page, Tommy enters the daycare doors. He holds the door open, waiting for someone. Ellie, the new girl, walks inside. 

Dina is mouthing out the first syllable but stops when she notices the redheaded girl is looking at her. She clears her throat and diverts her eyes away to look back at the curious children. She convinces herself to finish reading the pages to them and they break out into an applause.

“Dina! Read more!” Jill screams. She’s at the verge of tears at the prospect that reading time is over.

Dina goes to pat and comfort Jill. As she does so, Tommy approaches her. 

“Looks like they can’t get ‘nough of you,” he says. He places his hands into his jean pockets, and a few little boys wrap their arms around his calves.

Dina slyly smiles, “You could say I’m their favorite.”

Tommy nods and smiles at each of the children. He jiggles his leg in a playful attempt to get the boys off of him. “Yep. Just showin’ Ellie the daycare,” he says, pointing over at the girl. She’s who is standing against the wall. Her arms are crossed, and she’s staring at the ground.

“Oh,” Dina says. She pulls a child off her lap and stands up.

The boys unravel themselves away from Tommy, and he takes the opportunity to step away. “Maria says you’re up for showing her ‘round town?” he asks.

Dina nods. The time she offered to do so for Maria was already a week ago. Still, she remembers it vividly in her head since Ellie was there. “Yea, of course.”

“Alright,” Tommy says, nodding. He goes over to Ellie and gestures her with a “come here” motion. He then opens the door for the two ladies. “Go on ‘head and walk around a bit. I got the kids,” he says.

Dina raises her eyebrow. “Are you sure?” she asks.

Tommy confidently nods. “Yea. Pretty sure they want to hear one of my hunting stories.”

Dina walks outside the door and waits. Ellie trails behind her, glancing at Tommy for a second before exiting. He nods at both of them then closes the door.

The two girls stand outside in the snow. The windows of the daycare are large, and Dina can see Tommy speaking to the children through the glass. She looks at him, not attempting to look at Ellie until she thinks of what to say to break the silence. As she cycles through potential words, she stops when she hears the girl speak.

“Thanks for doing this,” Ellie says.

Dina turns to look at her. “N-no problem. It’s nothing really,” she says, smiling.

Ellie is still staring ahead of her. She has on a heavy winter coat with a hoodie underneath. Her hair is in the same style as the first time Dina met her except for the loose strands popping up at different places now. Her arms are crossed.

Dina turns and gestures Ellie to walk alongside her. “Jackson isn’t too large, so we’ll be finished by dinnertime. Still, I don’t want the sun to set too quickly on us.”

Ellie nods. She places her hands into her coat’s pocket and walks alongside Dina, a foot apart from her. When Dina looks to the side, she smiles at the realization her initial guess that Ellie is an inch or two taller is correct.

“Do you work there?” Ellie asks, tilting her head towards the daycare building.

Dina nods her head. They weave through an alleyway and onto the main street through Jackson. “Only sometimes, though, whenever Daisy is out. I actually work at the infirmary most of the time.”

The streets are sparse. Only a few people are walking across it. A few wave at Dina and then look curiously at Ellie. Their stares aren’t subtle, and this agitates Dina a little bit. 

“This is the town square. It’s where the cafeteria, general goods store, and bar are,” Dina says. She looks at Ellie and observes her twirling around, attempting to take in the entire sight..

“Cool,” the red-headed girl says.

Dina continues moving down the street. She points out a few key buildings until they enter a neighborhood. They walk in silence for a few minutes until they reach a dead end followed by Jackson’s large, imposing wall. They turn and walk the opposite direction.

“Are you liking Jackson?” Dina asks. She looks ahead, attempting to avoid Ellie’s reaction because she feels the question is incredibly generic and dull. Asking it made her feel like a five year old meeting a new classmate who isn’t necessarily excited to make friends.

“Yea. It’s nice,” Ellie responds. Her tone is neutral, which doesn’t reassure Dina. 

“I’ve lived here for almost all my life,” Dina says. “I actually live in the house that we’re about to pass. It’s to the left.”

Dina stops walking after a few yards, so Ellie does, too. She points in the direction of a quaint cottage. At the steps leading up to the door, a welcome mat is laid out with a statue of a bear holding a fish. Dina found it while patrolling through a furniture shop one day. The fish has the words “welcome” written on it. “Yep. That little house right there,” she says.

Ellie smiles from the corner of her mouth, and Dina notices it. She’s staring in amusement at the bear statue. “Really cool,” she says. Dina beams from the compliment (however small it be) and starts to feel less awkward about the conversation.

“I have a spare one if you want. I’d be more than happy to give it to you,” Dina says.

Ellie looks the statue up and down then shrugs. “Sure. I haven’t had the time to really decorate anything, so this’ll be cool to put outside my door.”

“Just tell me where you live and I’ll drop it off to you one day,” Dina suggests.

Ellie stops looking at the bear to stare at Dina. Dina looks up to secure their eye contact. She now sees a few shallow dimples at each side of the redhead’s mouth - the sight of which makes Dina unconsciously smile.

“I live near Tommy. In Joel’s backyard,” Ellie says.

“J-Joel?” Dina asks. She’s quite certain she knows everyone in town but the name doesn’t ring a bell for her.

“The… the new guy that came with me when we entered town,” Ellie says.

Dina nods, understanding now. “Is he your dad?”

Ellie shakes her head. She turns around and starts to walk towards the center of town. “He’s not my dad,” she says.

Wait… Aren’t I the tour guide? Dina thinks. She breaks into a jog in an effort to catch up to Ellie. They continue the tour through Jackson, ending it by heading to Joel’s house. Dina and Ellie walk into his backyard to see a detached garage. Only when Ellie walks towards it does she realize the building is her house.

Kind of… an odd place. Living in a garage doesn’t really sound comfy.

Ellie opens the door and shares her goodbye. Dina hesitant to end their interaction here, steps forward and waves to get Ellie’s attention, which is successful. Dina takes the opportunity to concentrate on her face - focusing on all the nuances she wasn’t able to observe the earlier times they were together. She knows the redheaded girl had freckles, but she sees that most of them are condenses on her cheeks and nose bridge. She also notices that a cherry red flush is spread across her face - most likely from the frost lingering in the air. It was especially piercing this evening.

“Will… Will I see you tomorrow?” Dina asks impulsively.

Ellie stops closing the door and stares at Dina. “Yea… of course. Want to meet at breakfast?” she asks.

Dina nods enthusiastically, hoping she doesn’t appear too desperate by the action. If she did, then Ellie didn’t seem to care. In fact, Ellie smiled back at the girl.

“See you, Dina,” Ellie says. For some reason, her name rolling against the girl’s lips irritates the already flying butterflies in Dina’s stomach. She feels a surge of excitement from hearing the word  and the prospect that she’ll see this new girl two days in a row. 

“S-s… See you, Ellie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( Very quickly published chapter since I've written a fair bit before publishing chapter 1. Thank you for reading. =P )


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dina catches up with Ellie for breakfast, goes to work, and hangs out (briefly) with Jesse and his friends for lunch. Everything seems to be going normally until a very mangled person checks into the infirmary.

Dina meets up with Ellie at breakfast. She wants to bring up the copious amounts of beef jerky she took one day but decides to slot that topic off for a later time - hopefully for when they’re closer. Right now, she’s still a bit shy around her but is at least confident that Ellie doesn’t despise her presence and want her to go away. That was Dina’s worry the first time they met considering the girl didn’t seem enthusiastic to speak.

“When are you going to do partnered patrols?” Dina asks.

Ellie takes a bite out of a breakfast sandwich. She sets it down and then looks at Dina. “Soon. Maria’s already paired me with someone.”

Dina makes an impressed face. “Look at you!” she says. She accidentally squeezes a ketchup packet in excitement and the liquid squirts onto Ellie’s shirt. Mortified, Dina leans over across the table, napkin in hand, attempting to clean it.

“Ugh, gross,” Ellie says, wrinkling her nose up. Dina begins to feel devastated until she realizes the red-headed girl is laughing in good humor. 

“I actually meant to do that,” Dina sarcastically says, wiping up the rest of the ketchup from Ellie’s shirt. She apologizes for the stain, but the other girl shakes her head and tells her not to worry about it.

They wave their goodbyes. Dina goes to the infirmary for her shift, but no one comes in. She simply cleans up the building until it’s lunch time, which arrives rather quickly. She enters the cafeteria again and sees Jesse sitting with his friends at the farthest table to the back. After waiting in line and grabbing a tray, she makes her way towards them.

“Hey, babe,” Jesse says, looking away from his friends to greet Dina. He scoots over to make room for her. The boys he patrols with nod and murmur their “hello”s.

“Hey,” Dina says. She sits beside him and gives him a perfunctory kiss on the cheek. It’s her typical greeting towards him. She’s done it so often that it’s become as routine as going to patrol. 

“Ken’s telling me he shot twenty infected this morning near the hotel,” Jesse says. He raises his eyebrow towards a blonde haired, muscular teenager with deep set eyes and a wide jaw. 

“I’m not fucking with you. I swear to God I killed that many. Just ask Cat,” Ken says.

Jesse rolls his eyes. “I won’t believe her, either. Most I’ve killed are a dozen - and that was on a busy day.”

“That’s a reflection of  _ you _ ,” Ken says, grabbing his apple tensely.

Dina sits beside him. His arm goes around her, and she feels the weight of it slightly hinder her eating. She pays slight attention into the conversation but is mostly focusing on finding Ellie in the cafeteria. After scanning each table a few times, she concludes she must not be there.

“I will say I’m jealous of you, though, Jesse,” a boy says. Dina recognizes the voice as Jacob’s. She looks up to see his brunette hair is slicked back with an excess of hair gel. “You got paired with that red-headed girl who just came into town.”

Dina pauses cutting into her meatloaf. She drops her utensils and looks over at Jesse. He frowns and tightens his arm against her. “You can have her, man.”

“Tried talking to her an’ she just kept walking,” Jacob says.

“That’s because your face looks like my meatloaf,” another boy named Juan says. Jacob hastily turns his head to him and hisses. He gives the boy an irate glare.

“You have competition. I heard some people have already made a move on here,” Ken says.

Dina raises her eyebrow. She takes glances at each of the boys until she rests her gaze onto Jesse. “Wait. Wait. Who is your partner?” Dina asks.

He glances down at her. “Maria paired me with the new girl today. Her name is Emma, I think. The one that we saw two weeks ago out in -”

“Her name is  _ Ellie _ ,” Dina interrupts. 

Jesse facepalms himself. “Oh, yea. Ellie.”

Dina sighs.

“Whatever her name is, I bet you in two weeks I _hit_ it,” Jacob says in a jaunty manner. “I’m an ugly motherfucker, but I’ve slept with half the girls in this town.”

Dina places her fingertips against her temples in an effort to quell the headache she’s experiencing. She feels a vein pulse in her forehead and her hands tense up. It’s the ever so obvious symptoms of anger bubbling inside her. 

“I bet you half of my work’s pay you don’t,” Ken says.

“Get ready to eat my lunch scraps next mont-”

Just before Jacob can finish his sentence, Dina stands up. All the members of the table look up at her, surprised by the spontaneous movement. Jesse’s arm is still hanging in the air from when she flung it away. Even with the ever so inquisitive stares, Dina ignores all of them except for Jacob's. To him, she gives a furious expression to and grabs her tray. She walks towards the exit of the building. 

“Dina!” Jesse shouts. 

…

Dina eats lunch at the infirmary. Once she’s done, she begins haphazardly fixing the bed linens. Her mind is too occupied by Jacob’s comments earlier. They ring in her head ad nauseum, even when she tries to forget them. Most of the time when Jacob speaks about women, Dina gives him a side eye. She’s even called him a “pig” to his face before, but today she left because she could feel her self control slipping. She may very well have slapped him if he continued speaking that way. 

_Jesse’s friends are fucking disgusting_. _Who talks about someone like that?_ Dina thinks, spreading a linen cloth out. She attempts to fold it neatly, but several creases show. The girl sighs and attempts to placate the anger inside her. Just as she closes her eyes in a desperate attempt to meditate, the doors open and her coworker Dorian comes in.

“Dina!” the woman says. “Prep up for surgery. Dr. Zhou says someone’s been hurt badly.”

Dina twirls around. The panic from her coworker spreads to her and she snaps into attention. “O-okay..”

Dorian nods and goes into the surgery room. Dina follows. They begin to wash their hands, sterilize the surgery table, and ready the instruments. After ten minutes of anxious small talk, a tall, slender Asian woman enters the room. She wears a large lab coat with the name tag “Dr. Zhou” on it. Behind her are two men carrying what looks like a limp body.

“Put her on there…quickly!” Dr. Zhou says urgently.

The men, who Dina now realizes is Tommy and the new man Joel, enter the room. They’re both so large that they obscure the figure that they’re holding. One of them grunts and attempts to place the limp figure onto the surgery table. Dina tilts her head and gasps behind her mask when she sees who it is.

A badly wounded Ellie is lying on the table. Dina rapidly eyes her up and down, looking for what could be the matter. Dorian begins to take the girl’s coat off.

“Steady,” Dr. Zhou says.

Dorian nods, pulling away Ellie’s arms gently from the coat’s sleeves. Joel and Tommy help her by steadying Ellie’s ragdoll-like body. Once the coat is off, Dina sees that Ellie’s arm is badly mangled by various lacerations - some of which glimmer in the light due to small glass shards embedded in them.

“She broke through a window,” Joel says, darting his eyes at Dr. Zhou.

The doctor nods and grabs a needle carrying general anesthesia. She injects it into Ellie’s arm while barking orders to Dina and Dorian. 

“Place a bowl underneath her arm,” Dr. Zhou says to Dorian, to which the girl obeys. Once it’s placed there, the doctor begins dousing her arm with a solution - to which Ellie’s fingers begin to twitch.

“Dr. Zhou,” Dina whispers, trying to call attention to the movement. If the doctor did hear Dina, then she didn't act on it. She simply continues squeezing the solution bottle and cleaning the wound.

Ellie’s eyes flutter open and her face contorts in pain. She grits her teeth, and this prompts Dina to hold onto the girl’s un-wounded hand. She squeezes it lightly and then puts her other hand up to Ellie’s forehead. “Sh… It’s okay,” Dina says, hoping her words can assuage the pain she’s in.

Ellie looks up at her. Her light green eyes convey a mixture of several emotions - from fear to confusion to pain. Dina’s heart beats with sympathy towards the girl. She desperately wants to take the suffering away.

“Dr. Zhou,” Dorian says then gasps. She rotates Ellie’s arm and calls attention to what Dina sees is part of a bike mark. “She’s bitten!”

Dr. Zhou stops squeezing the bottle and audibly gasps. Joel hastily goes to grab the doctor’s shoulder.

“Now, you listen to me,” Joel shakily says. “You keep fixin’ her.”

Dr. Zhou raises her eyebrows in surprise. She looks over at Tommy for guidance, but he is busy attempting to ease Joel’s grip from the doctor. “Do it, Doctor!” Tommy yells.

Ellie gives a low whimper and tilts her head back. She closes her eyes, her brows lower, and her whimper transforms into a anguished groan.

“Fix her now!” Joel demands, pushing Dr. Zhou away. Tommy grabs Joel with both his arms and pulls him away from the surgical table. 

Dr. Zhou takes a moment to compose herself before injecting the general anesthesia to more locations on Ellie’s arm. Ellie lets out her groan every time the needle is penetrated into her, so Dina whispers her name in an effort to placate her.

“Ellie,” Dina says. The name seems to flow so naturally from her lips.

“Dr. Zhou, she’s  _ not _ clean,” Dorian insists, darting her eyes to Tommy and Joel.

Dr. Zhou grabs the solution and continues cleaning the wound. After washing away the final clumps of coagulated blood, Ellie's arm is clean. Dr. Zhou begins stitching the cuts.

“We’ll address that once we’re done,” the doctor says.

Joel stares at the procedure with an intense gaze. Tommy may have distanced themselves a few feet away, but the intensity is still high in the room. Dina tries to avoid his stare and focus on Ellie. She notices the girl’s drooping. Dina caressing her and says her name.

After the stitches, Dr. Zhou orders the girls to deliver her IV fluids. Joel tries to linger longer in the room but is escorted out by Tommy and Dr. Zhou. Dina sits at Ellie’s side while Dorian wheels the IV machine into the room. 

Dr. Zhou enters back into the room and looks over at Ellie’s stained clothes. “Get her into a gown.”

Dorian nods. Dina doesn’t notice the orders or look towards her her coworkers: she’s at Ellie’s side, whispering her name softly . Only when Dr. Zhou clears her throat did she snap out of this hypnotized state and ask what was happening. Dr. Zhou repeats herself and then exits the room.

“Okay. I get the gown and you undress her?” Dorian asks.

Dina nods, and Dorian leaves the room. Once the two are left together, Dina doesn’t move. Her hands are in the same place - on Ellie’s forehead and hand. She can see Ellie’s chest rising up and down in a steady motion, but her eyes are closed. She’s unconscious now.

_Good_ , Dina says. She's relieved the other girl is unconscious because of how much pain she was in earlier. However, this relief turns into surprise as she recalls Dr. Zhou's orders. Dina wonders why she feels this way. She's undressed patients before and done so with no second thought, but there's an unprecedented hesitation felt inside her now. She looks at the Ellie, still and vulnerable. Her expression is peaceful. It seems strange that such tribulation existed just a few seconds ago. 

Dina finds it depraved to simply be looking at the girl- especially in the urgent state she's in. She stands mesmerized in place, looking longingly at Ellie's face. With her unconscious, Dina can now stare and take in the details she was too embarrassed to absorb when Ellie was attentive. Only when she hears Dorian's hasty footsteps in the hallway did she remember she has a job to do. Dina must cast away her thoughts and feelings and treat Ellie immediately.

…

Ellie lies in one of the many infirmary’s beds. The patients all share one, large room to rest in. Dina sits by her side, looking at her sleeping expression and the movement of her chest rising up and down.

Dina recalls the moment when she held Ellie’s hand on the operating table. Even through the gloves, she could feel a shocking current passing through her the moment she made contact with the other girl. Dina nearly gasped from it. The only time she’s felt that way before was the first time she was intimate with Jesse.

The way Ellie lay on the table, completely unguarded, lulled Dina closer. She recalls placing her hand onto Ellie's forehead and feelings its incredibly warm surface. Just a degree hotter, and Dina’s imagines her fingertips would be singed. 

Dina questions the reason behind these feelings. She finds it odd that the surgery was so emotionally distressing and odd that she felt so cautious to undress the other girl. It didn't make sense why it was that way. It should actually feel _less_ distressing and invasive  because she was a girl. For some reason, Dina's breathing became so incredibly heavy and erratic the moment she saw what Ellie looked like underneath her garments. She remembers trying her best to focus simply on the task but found herself giving into the temptation of letting her eyes drift towards other parts of the other girl's body. She vividly remembers the sight of Ellie's sinewy arms, her toned stomach, her collarbone, her bare neck...

Dina shakes the images away from her brain.  _ I feel like a fucking pervert _ , she thinks. The thought is loud in her head, especially due to the silence in the room. The only ambient noises were from the air conditioning unit and Dina’s tapping foot. Ellie’s breaths were inaudible to Dina. The only sign she was breathing was her chest movements.

Dina sighs and stands up. She begins cleaning the room. While sweeping the floors, she hears a rustle coming from Ellie’s direction. She looks up to see the girl is awake and moving.

“Wait!” Dina says. She sprints towards the girl’s side. “Don’t put any pressure on your right arm.”

Dina extends her hand in an effort to touch Ellie again, concerned by how bewildered her motion is, but her hand is caught in midair by Ellie’s other hand. The girl grabs Dina’s wrist, and the large amount of pressure she’s creating makes Dina give an agonizing yelp.

“Ellie-” Dina says, lifting her free hand onto the girl’s arm. Ellie flinches from the touch but exhales and lets go. She goes grab the fabric of her T-shirt above her chest. She attempts to breathe deeply to escape her hyperventilation.

Dina retracts both her arms and looks down at her wrist. A bright red mark is left where the other girl grabbed her. She massages the area to try and help the blood regain its circulation there.

“S… Sorry,” Ellie says breathlessly.

“It’s… I forgive you,” Dina says. “You were probably really scared.”

Ellie scans the room, dissecting each detail of it. After doing so, she turns her head and looks Dina in the eye. “What happened to me?”

Dina explains the story Dr. Zhou told her. The gist of it is this: Joel was walking with Ellie down the planned route she was to do for partnered patrols and a horde of infected attacked them while they were in a gas station. Ellie, wanting to escape quickly, broke the window and the glass pierced through her arm. She passed out due to blood loss.

Ellie sighs and tilts her head back. Her plump lips show various cuts, and the bruises on her forehead are turning a rotten color. She murmurs the phrase “I’m so fucking stupid” underneath her breath.

The rest of Dina’s evening is spent changing Ellie’s bandages and making her as comfortable as possible. Dina occasionally asks the girl if she feels comfortable or if she is hurting, but the girl replies in simple “yes”s or “no”s. Silence ensues most of the night. Dina allows for it to because she feels like it would be inconsiderate to interrupt Ellie from resting.

After an hour of looking after the girl, Dina’s coworker Jamie steps in to relieve her of her shift. Ellie’s already fallen asleep, and Dina’s wrapped her with a personal blanket she keeps hidden in one of the cupboards. She wonders if she should tell Jamie to head back home - that she can take over the shift. Jamie would be more than happy to be free from duty, and Ellie would have Dina to look over her for the night.

Before Dina can suggest this plan, she recalls the promise she made to Jesse to meet him early tomorrow morning. She’s been a bit negligent of him, so putting it off wouldn’t bode well for their relationship. She decides to stay silent and head home, leaving Jamie with Ellie. 

When Dina does return home, she washes her face, undresses, and lies in bed. Before she falls asleep, she tries to think of an explanation for her earlier feelings. Why was she so flustered by Ellie in the hospital? Why was she so tempted to look at her? Why was she still tempted to imagine how she looked on that operation table? The stare Dina gave her wasn’t the typical appreciative one she gave to her friends when they put in an effort into their appearance. It was a _hungry_ stare. Dina knew she didn’t have chaste intentions when she gave it, but why in the world did she - especially towards a girl she’s barely known? The questions persistently bombard her head, but she finds no answer to them. Defeated, she falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( Literally have no real medical knowledge [except the stuff I read from articles or whatever], so i anticipate the surgery scene will make some of you guys cringe. Sorry in advance. Also TY for the nice comments.)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (going to stop doing these chapter summaries because they seem a bit superfluous)

Dina dreams of Ellie that night. In her dream, they’re at the infirmary. Ellie sits upright in one of the beds and stares at Dina. The oversized hospital gown dripping down her shoulders exposes bruised skin and bare collarbones. Dina stands there in her scrubs, frozen in place, looking her up and down with a lustful expression.

“Do you look at every patient that way?” Ellie condescendingly asks.

Dina shakes her head. She walks over to the bed, climbs on top of it, then seductively crawls towards Ellie. After pulling her mask down, she plants an impulsive and hasty peck on the girl’s lips and retreats back. A thin string of saliva joins their two mouths. Before Dina can back away further and break it, Ellie grabs her by the back of the neck and pulls her closer.

When their mouths make contact again, their lips are parted. At first, their tongues dance in a balanced duet, but soon the dance turns into a fight for dominance with Ellie coming out on top. Ellie writhes her tongue into Dina’s mouth, to which Dina responds with a soft and almost inaudible moan

Ellie breaks apart from their kiss and looks at Dina with a cocky smirk. The red headed girl’s hands start exploring all over Dina’s body. Dina shakes and squirms when the other girl’s fingers trace over her neck, breasts, stomach, and thighs. No one has ever touched her in that way besides Jesse.

Suddenly the scene shifts. Dina jolts awake from the dream. Her breath is unsteady and her body is warm - just like in her dream state. Dina raises her hand to her forehead and feels rivulets of sweat across her skin.

_ What the fuck _ , Dina thinks. The emotions felt in the dream are still raw inside her. She feels an odd mixture of excitement, lust, and apprehension, but now her mind is sound now and scrutinizing the feelings.  _ What… What was that dream? _

Dina takes a moment to collect herself before getting up. She takes a shower, dresses, and heads to the cafeteria to meet Jesse. They speak alone, having a quick conversation about their day.

Jesse sips a cup of orange juice, making eye contact with Dina as he does so. “You look underslept.”

Dina places her fingertips underneath her eyes, feeling the bags underneath them. “You’re so sweet with your compliments,” she sarcastically tells Jesse. 

Jesse shakes his head and smiles. He moves from across the table to the seat directly beside Dina. His arm wraps around her, and his lips press against her forehead. “Sorry I sometimes forget to tell you how beautiful you are,” he whispers into her ear.

Dina nods her head. The moment between the couple must seem endearing to a bystander, but Dina doesn’t feel that way. Her mind is somewhere else.

…

Dina folds her quilted fruit blanket that she covered Ellie with the other night. The blanket has a bright pattern filled with images of various fruits - mainly strawberries, blueberries, and grapes. As Dina finishes tidying Ellie’s little corner in the infirmary up, she hears Ellie mumbling something underneath her breath.

“What’s that?” Dina asks, looking up at the girl. 

Ellie clears her throat. “Thank you for the blanket,” she says. 

Dina nods and quietly says, “Don’t mention it.”

“It was… ‘berry’ warm,” Ellie says.

Dina bursts into a chuckle and hugs the blanket in her arms. “That was a stupid joke,” she teasingly tells Ellie.

Ellie smiles. “So stupid you laughed - right?”

“Out of politeness, but now I want to be honest to you,” Dina says and shakes her head. She smiles. Ellie seems like she’s in a much better mood today. For example, when Dina came into the infirmary this morning, Ellie greeted her with a wave and smile. Even though the behavior seems a tad uncharacteristic for the red-headed girl, Dina accepts it at face value.

“Alright. If you’re good and don’t pick at your bandages, then Dr. Zhou may can send you home today,” Dina says.

Ellie nods, leaning her head back. When she does so, Dina notices a folded, pastel pink piece of paper in the girl’s hands.

“What’s that you're holding?” Dina asks inquisitively. 

Ellie puts the paper to her bedside “Oh. It’s just a get well card.”

Dina looks up. “Oh, that’s nice. Did Joel come in here earlier?”

“Um… No. Cat came in here earlier,” Ellie says, shaking her head.

Dina raises her eyebrow. She looks over at the card on the bed and sees intricately drawn flowers and hearts on the cover of it.  _ Holy shit. _ Dina thinks to herself. _ Why didn’t I think of that? _

“Ohh...” Dina says, smirking teasingly at Ellie. “Does… Does she like you?”

After asking that question, Dina immediately wishes she could take it back. She said and worded the phrase so flirtatiously that she worries it came off as strange and unwarranted. Well, if it was, Ellie didn’t notice. She wrinkles her nose and shakes her head at Dina. “Ewww, n-no,” the red-headed girl says, laughing in-between her words. Her cheeks become slightly red. “She’s just trying to be nice.”

Dina laughs and pats Ellie’s leg through the blanket. “I was just kidding. But… That seems to answer everything for me.”

“Answer what?” Ellie asks, looking up at Dina.

“Oh, nothing.” Dina says mischievously, turning around to head across the room. “Just who you have a crush on.”

Dina hears Ellie groan behind her. She smiles to herself as she walks out through the door. The rest of her shift is spent doing paperwork with Dorian to record the health and wellness of Jackson residents, but even during the most distracted parts during work, Dina catches herself smiling and thinking of Ellie.

…

“So…” Jesse says.

Dina nods, not registering his words. She’s paying attention to the stray cats gathering in the alleyway beside them. 

“There’s a bonfire on Sunday,” Jesse says. The couple are sitting across from each other on a wooden bench outside the cafeteria. They’re eating dinner.

“Yep,” Dina says, nodding. A calico cat that Dina has named Cheeto begins to swat her paw at a chubby main coon nicknamed Tammy. 

“Do you want us to go?” Jesse asks.

Dina breathes in. Once Cheeto makes contact with Tammy’s face, a fight breaks out between them. The other strays simply sit and stare at the commotion. After watching the event unfold for a few minutes, Dina recalls that she’s been asked a question.

“I’m not necessarily in the mood, babe,” Dina says, placing her chin on her crossed arms. She’s not finished with her soup, but its overwhelming seasoning ruins her appetite. 

Dina sees Jesse nod in the periphery of her vision. “It’s fine, D,” Jesse says. He scoots closer to her, and Dina can feel his hip against hers. “Had to ask because Ken’s basically third wheeling between that new girl and Cat.”

Dina bawls her fist up. She averts her gaze away from the cats to look at Jesse. “W-what?”

Jesse raises his eyebrows and glances at his girlfriend up and down. “Ken wanted someone over so he wouldn’t have to third wheel. I thought if we went, then -“

Dina shakes her head. “No. I mean- Ellie will be there?”

Dina regrets asking the question the moment Jesse becomes noticeably confused.  _ Fuck. Why would I even ask that?  _ Dina thinks to herself.

“Uh… yea,” Jesse responds.

Dina faces forward and takes in the information. She hasn’t seen Ellie in a week after she came to visit the infirmary. The fact that the red-headed girl hasn’t so much as tried to find her or even speak to her whenever Dina sees her around town seems to suggest that she thinks very little of their “friendship” - if Dina can call it that.

_ She doesn’t even look at me whenever we’re at the cafeteria.  _ Dina thinks. She initially felt excited after treating Ellie at the infirmary because she was hopeful that they’d start hanging out more. However, they haven’t so much as spoken to each other for several days.

Dina theorizes that maybe Ellie just wasn’t as affected by the infirmary experience as she was. When she was with her, it felt intimate and lovely. After not seeing her after one day, Dina was already pining for her presence. The thought of Ellie casually going about her day without thinking about her makes Dina feel incredibly alone with these intense feelings.

“Dina,” Jesse says gently. Dina looks at him while still mostly facing away. 

“Tell me what’s wrong,” Jesse says.

Dina shakes her head and uncrosses her arms. “It’s just…” she starts saying something but then trails off.

_ What is even happening? _ Dina asks.  _ I don’t even know what I’m feeling myself. How can I describe it to another person? _

“I’m… just a bit worked up from my shift earlier,” Dina says. She bites her lip and realizes this is the first white lie she’s ever told to Jesse. She immediately feels a pit form in her stomach due to the burdensome guilt she’s feeling.

“Let’s walk you home then?” Jesse asks. He looks at Dina with concern in his face.

Dina nods and straightens herself up. She takes her styrofoam box and throws her uneaten soup, bread, and salad away. After she does so, Jesse walks with her towards her house. Halfway through their walk, he reaches out to grab her hand, and Dina allows it.

“You can tell me anything,” Jesse reassures.

Dina, without looking at him, nods. She feels the pit in her stomach grow heavier and heavier. She tilts her chin down and shields her face away using the collar of her coat. This entire situation makes her feel incredibly upset… incredibly small. She wants to sublimate into the cold air around her. She wants to disappear because she feels a dread beginning to grow inside her.

_ Jesse _ , Dina thinks to herself. Even with his hand holding hers, she feels nothing besides the physical sensation of it. After touching Ellie and feeling every emotion she thought possible from the infirmary experience, she anticipates she can no longer go back to the way things were with her boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( (◕ᴗ◕✿) I'm going to calm down on writing so much now since school is coming up, but I will update [just not as regularly]. If you guys happen to feel sad or angsty after these few chapters, then know this story has a happy ending.)


	5. Chapter 5

Dina deliberated on whether to go to the bonfire or not. She ultimately asked Jesse if he was still open to going, which he was, and they planned to go together. If Jesse was suspicious about Dina’s change of heart, then he didn’t show it.

Dina fixes her hair into a neat bun after she dresses herself in a thick wooden sweater and heavy winter coat. When she looks out the window, she notices the sky is divided into various strata of color with violet being the thickest. She exits her house and meets Jesse at town center. The couple walk side by side to Ken’s house.

“Busy day?” Jesse asks.

Dina looks at him and notices she’s been quiet most of this time. “The opposite,” she says. She’s been thinking of today and what it will be like seeing Ellie again. After not seeing her for so long, she thinks these feelings have subsided; yet as they walk closer to the destination, Dina feels the same knee-shaking nervousness and breath-taking excitement as before.

When they get to the house, Jesse calls out Ken’s name. Ken responds by yelling that he’s in the backyard. Jesse swings open the fence door, letting Dina in first. Once they walk into the backyard, the smell of burning wood greets them.

“Hey, Dina,” Ken says. Before Dina notices him, she sees Ellie and Cat sitting on a decaying log together. Cat’s legs are crossing, nudging against Ellie’s, and the two laugh once Ellie whispers something into Cat’s ear.

Ken greets Jesse and gestures the couple to take a seat. He sits on a stump, across from Ellie and Cat while Dina,and Jesse sit adjacent to them on another rotten log. Only when Ellie finishes laughing does she look up and notice Dina.

“Hey,” Ellie says, smiling and giving Dina a miniature wave.

“Hey,” Dina responds flatly.

Cat gets up to hug Dina and Jesse. “Glad you guys could make it!” she says.

Dina barely reciprocates the hug: she’s too focused on maintaining eye contact with Ellie. The red-headed girl’s eyes reflect the orange and red colors of the bonfire, so much so that Dina can no longer see the green in her irises. 

“What have you guys been up to?” Jesse asks.

Cat sits back next to Ellie. Ken rummages for a beer in a cooler and takes one out. After uncapping it, he says, “Nothin’. Just trying to convince her to sing.” Ken points the bottle towards Ellie.

Cat enthusiastically grips onto Ellie’s arm. “Please help us convince her. I’ve been dying ever since she told me she sings  _ and  _ plays the guitar.”

Ellie shakes her head and bashfully looks down. “Fuck. Please don’t,” she says.

Jesse grins. “Not the type to push if you don’t really want to, but I’m sure all of us would like to hear,” he says.

Dina crosses her arms, snuggling in her large coat. Ken looks over at her and grins. “What do you think?” he asks.

“I think she can do whatever she wants,” Dina says. She takes the opened beer bottle that Jesse offers to her and sips it - all while simultaneously looking at Ellie.

“Maybe later,” Ellie says.

The subject isn’t brought up again. Ken retrieves a few marshmallows from his house, and the group roast them using nearby sticks. Jesse, Cat, and Ken begin talking about various topics, such as patrol schedule, town drama, and video games. Dina sips her bottle, occasionally giving her tipsy input here and there. Ellie is relatively quiet compared to everyone else.

“Hey,” Dina says to Ken. She’s risen up from her seat to nudge him on his shoulder. He looks up to meet the girl’s eye. “May I use your restroom?” Dina asks.

Ken enthusiastically nods and leads Dina into his house - a quaint cabin that has no more than three rooms in it. However, the inside doesn’t feel claustrophobic to Dina because of the minimalist design and large windows. Dina walks down with him to his restroom and fixes her bun while there.

When Dina leaves the restroom, she looks around at Ken’s living room. Various animal furs are draped across the furniture as well as spread across the floor. Dina is eager not to step on one. As she navigates through the room, she notices Ellie standing in the restroom, pouring herself a glass of water.

Dina hopes she hasn’t been heard. She wants to sneak through because she feels an awkward tension between them. It doesn't help that the only thing that Ellie has directly said to her the entire night was a short greeting. She’s mostly been attentive to Cat, and Dina feels incredibly left out and ignored. She tiptoes across the floor but stops when Ellie turns around.

“Hey,” the red-headed girl says, smiling at Dina.

“Hey,” Dina responds. “You had the right idea,” she says, nodding her head towards Ellie’s cup of water.

Ellie nods. “I’m not really that big into beer.”

Dina walks into the kitchen and leans against the counter. While she was gone, Ken apparently placed a vinyl onto a record player. A melancholy, almost dream-like rock song was playing and the lyrics are only now being sung by the artist.

_Last night I thought of you_

_Years ago, when bodies grew_

__

“Did…” Dina says once there’s a pause in the lyrics. “Did I say something at the infirmary that bothered you?”

Ellie looks at her with a perplexed expression. Her hair is a different style today. The top half is tied up while the lower half is down to just an inch above her shoulder “No. Why do you say that?” Ellie asks. More of the song lyrics are sung.  


_I thought about how it was_

_I thought about you because_

“I just thought you may have been avoiding me,” Dina says. She grips the edge of the counter and looks away. Through her periphery, she can see Ellie visibly flustered. She rolls up her flannel sleeves and sets down her glass of water.

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry I came across that way,” Ellie says. “Do you… do you want to hang out next time we’re both free?”

Dina goes to respond but they both become startled by a load noise. The backdoor is clumsily opened by a very drunk Cat. She walks awkwardly to the kitchen and goes to steady herself onto Ellie. She tightens her fist around the collar of Ellie’s flannel and whispers something in her ear. Before either of them could respond, Cat tugs her back outside. 

“... Sure,” Dina says underneath her breath, responding to a question whose asker is no longer present. The vinyl spins around the record player. A bass guitar strums accompanied by a drum-set and an electric guitar. The words of the song repeat again and again - like a chant.  


_I always_ _think about you_

_I always think about you_

…

The rest of that night was as awkward as before Dina went to use the restroom. Cat was drunkenly flirting with Ellie, and Ellie had little response to it. Ken began playing a few more song at Jesse’s request, and someone accidentally pushed the plate of marshmallows too close to the fire, burning all of them.

“Fuck!” Jesse said while grabbing at the ruined sweets.

Dina rolled her eyes and asked her boyfriend if they could both leave. Once they did, Dina stormed across town while Jesse was left to chase after her. They went their separate ways at the town center and Dina fell asleep after repeatedly shaking her pillow in frustration.  


Now, Dina is at the infirmary, helping Dr. Zhou treat a patient.

“You have got to look where you’re stepping, Mr. Watts,” the doctor says. She applies some antibiotic ointment onto his badly swollen foot. “You’re diabetic, so your cuts just don’t heal as quickly as others. You’ll get infected again if you don’t come sooner.”

Mr. Watts, a wizened, chubby man, shakes his head. “Dunno how I got it,” he innocently says.

Diana attempts to suppress an eye roll.  _ This is the third time this month he’s been here _ , she thinks.  _ Does this man do anything other than get hurt? _

After Dina wheels him onto a bed, Dr. Zhou says her goodbye. “I’ll see you after lunch, Dina,” she says.

Dina nods. She sits beside Mr. Watts, who is snoozing off, and grabs a copy of  _ The Tell-Tale Heart and Other Writings _ by Edgar Allen Poe. She fingers from one page to another, and her eyes skim rapidly through passages. When she reaches half-way through the book, she hears the door of the infirmary open. Ellie stands a few feet away, holding a tin foil wrapped object in her hand. 

“What’s that?” Dina asks, curiously looking the other girl up and down.  


Ellie moves one foot to the other, slowly edging towards Dina. “Lunch - if you want it,” she says.

Dina puts her book down and gets out of her chair. “Really? What did they have today?” 

“Turkey and provolone. They also had ham and cheddar, but I didn’t know what you’d want,” Ellie responds.

Dina takes the sandwich from the other girl’s hands and smiles. “You honestly read my mind because I’m hungry but was too lazy to wait in line.”

Ellie smirks at her. “Just think what kind of sandwich you want next time, too.”

Dina nods and smiles back. She holds the item in her hand and gives an appreciative look towards Ellie. "Thank you."  


Ellie shakes her head and gingerly says "don't mention it" underneath her breath. She lightly kicks an imaginary object and then turns to walk towards the exit.  


"Wait-" Dina says hastily. She takes a step closer to Ellie, and the red-headed girl stops and turns back around to look at her. "Are you free tomorrow... during the afternoon?"

Ellie is quiet at first. She glances to the side before looking back at Dina. "Yea. What's up?"

"Do you want to see something really interesting?" Dina quickly asks.

Ellie curls the side of her lip, and her dimples become increasingly more defined the wider her smirk becomes. "Maybe. What is it?"

Dina shrugs. "Just something interesting..." she says. Before continuing, she stands there and readies herself to gauge Ellie's reaction. "It's outside of the Jackson walls, though."

Ellie immediately frowns and crosses her arms. "And you really think I've stayed these two months without walking out by myself every now and then?" she asks sarcastically.

Dina grins mischievously. She playfully mumbles "tsk, tsk, tsk" before asking this: "3pm at your house?"

Ellie nods. "I'll be there."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I hate school. =P Classes begin tomorrow. song in chapter is Harsh Realm by Widowspeak)


	6. Chapter 6

“This is my favorite spot to go out to,” Dina says. She looks back and sees Ellie is a few yards away from her and slows down her pace. They walk down the street of an abandoned downtown area.

“I’ve actually never been here before,” Ellie says behind her.

Dina smiles, turns around, and winks at the other girl. “Then this’ll be a nice surprise.”

Dina stops. She signals Ellie to follow her into a building with a set of wide, glass doors. The two enter through them into a small, cozy looking cafe. Dina’s boots click against the wooden floors as she walks down an aisle of tables to go towards a the back. In the back, there's a corner with a few sofas, a small tea table, and fake fireplace.

“This used to be a cat cafe,” Dina says, sitting down on one of the sofas. She nods at the various cat decorations and cat toys. “My sister Talia loved cats, and we’d try to find one of these at every big city we visited.”

Ellie sits down on the sofa across from Dina. “Where is she?” Ellie asks.

“She passed away,” Dina says, not looking at Ellie. She instead looks around at the empty tables, mugs, and seats. Only after noticing that nothing was said between them for several minutes does she look back at her friend, who is sympathetically looking at her.

“I’m really sorry, Dina,” Ellie says solemnly.

Dina gives a faint smile and pats the seat next to her. “Want to come here?”

Ellie nods and makes her way towards the other sofa. Before Ellie sits down, Dina discreetly places a plush cat in her seat. She smirks when the other girl unknowingly sits on it.

“You have the humor of a five year old,” Ellie says with lighthearted condescension, pulling the plushie from underneath her butt.

Dina leans against the arm of the sofa and faces towards Ellie. She raises her feet up and sits in a lax cradle position. “You’re just salty you got pranked,” Dina says.

Ellie loosens the straps of her backpack. “How long have you known about this place?” she asks.

Dina shrugs. “Maybe five years. I go here whenever I want to be alone… which is often.”

Ellie takes off her backpack, lifts her legs up onto the sofa, and mirrors Dina’s position. She lays her cheek on her hand. “Why’s that?”

“Why don’t you just read my mind like you said you could?” Dina asks.

Ellie rolls her eyes. “Obviously I’m having a bit of brain fog today - otherwise I would,” she says sarcastically.

Dina responds with a “mmhmm.” Her leg is directly resting on Ellie’s, which makes her notice that the other girl is shaking slightly. _Is she nervous?_ Dina wonders. She looks up to investigate the girl’s facial expression. It’s fairly placid, devoid of any typical signs Dina attributes to anxiety, but her eyes dart skittishly. _Maybe she is..._  


“Your boyfriend talks about you alot,” Ellie says, fixing her ponytail. 

Dina exhales and laughs simultaneously. “Does he?”

Ellie nods, and Dina feels the guilt induced pit grow slightly heavier in her stomach. 

“Cat talks a lot about you,” Dina says.

Ellie snorts and looks away. “Like in a condescending way?”

Dina laughs and shakes her head. “Not at all. She only says good things,” she says. Her smile starts to fade away and she looks away from Ellie. “Are you two dating?”

“I dunno,” Ellie says. She shrugs in the periphery of Dina’s vision. “What would she even see in me?” Ellie asks, looking away, too.

Dina turns to face her. “You’re absolutely oblivious, Ellie Williams,” Dina says.

Ellie gives Dina a confused expression before leaning forwards slightly. “Oblivious to what?”

Dina responds with a head shake, and Ellie glares at her. Dina can almost anticipate the words “you’re so annoying” to flow from Ellie’s mouth, but before it does, they both jump in response to a loud shattering noise coming from the direction of the entrance. Ellie is the first to take out her pistol. 

“To your left!” Ellie yells, pushing herself from the couch.

Dina turns her head to see a runner moving frenetically towards her. It knocks over chairs and tables in a ravenous chase towards the girls. Dina jumps and breaks into a sprint out of its way.

Ellie shoots her pistol at the runner. A mixture of flesh, brain matter, and fungus explodes in various directions, and a deafeningly loud boom ensues. Only after the ring in Dina’s ear subsides does she notice that Ellie is calling out her name to warn of a horde of clickers and runners approaching the entrance. 

Dina turns and sees Ellie in the back, gesturing her towards an exit. Dina runs to her friend with an infected at her tail.

“Motherfucker!” Ellie screams as she takes out a shiv to stab at the infected. She misses its chest, and it begins to wrestle with her. It soon overpowers her onto the ground. Dina’s shaking hands fumble for the pistol in her belt’s holster. As she aims it at the creature, it begins to bite into Ellie’s hand.

“Ellie!” Dina screams in fright.

Ellie glances at Dina, and another infected grabs at her leg. Dina gasps then aims her gun. She fires several shots in the their direction. 

“Get up!” Dina yells. She grabs Ellie and pulls her through the exit. She closes the door then quickly tries to assess her friend’s wounds.

“Oh my God,” Dina says shakily at Ellie. At first she didn’t believe her memory of the infected chomping down onto Ellie’s flesh, but now she sees its bite mark on her hand. In addition to that, blood is staining through Ellie’s pants. “Ellie,” Dina cries out. Her eyes begin to water.

Ellie steadies her breath. She attempts to sit up but then groans and lies back on the ground. “We have to move,” she whispers to Dina.

Dina looks around and sees they’re in an alleyway. “Okay,” she says. She helps pull Ellie up and places her hand around her shoulder. The two walk towards the closest door. Dina pulls at the handle, and the two enter into building. They step into what looks like a stockroom.

“Wait here,” Dina says, placing Ellie into a chair. She raises her gun and goes to look at the rest of the building, which Dina sees sells general goods and sports equipment. She finds a sleeping bag and LED lantern in the camping section then takes them towards Ellie.

Dina spreads the sleeping bag onto the floor and helps Ellie lie against it. She glances down at her leg and notices the bleeding hasn’t gone away. “Did… Did I accidentally shoot you?” Dina asks. 

Ellie doesn’t respond. She lies against the bedroll and stays still. Her face becomes progressively more pallid.

“Shit,” Dina says. She rummages through the store and finds a pair of scissors. She cuts a t-shirt hanging from a nearby rack into strips and hurries to bandage Ellie up. As she finishes, she notices Ellie’s eyelids begin drooping.  


“Can… can you not close your eyes?” Dina asks. When the words come out, she notices they sound less like a question and more like a plea.  


Ellie glances up with her forest green eyes. She weakly nods and maintains eye contact with Dina. 

“I wish I could beat the fuck out of you for taking those runners for me,” Dina says. She tries to make the statement sound somewhat light-hearted, but her voice breaks in the middle of it. She’s in tears.

Ellie feebly raises her hand and brushes it against Dina’s cheek. Dina grabs onto it, feeling the swelling caused by the infected bite, and holds it against her face. Ellie’s thumb rubs against her skin, helping to wipe away a few tears. Before the two can relish the moment, Ellie’s arm goes limp in Dina’s grip.

Dina lowers her and Ellie’s hand down to Ellie’s side. She places her other hand onto the girls forehead, emulating the same position as when Ellie was in surgery. Dina strokes her face and looks up and down her body. When her eyes travel back up, she notices Ellie's eyes are closed.

“Ellie,” Dina whispers. She goes through the store to find a blanket and puts it over her. After doing so, she lies on the floor beside her, putting the palm of her hand onto Ellie’s chest. She feels the rhythmic motion of her lungs inflating and deflating as well as the beat of her heart. 

_You’re... you’re going to turn any moment now,_ Dina thinks to herself. She looks towards the bit hand. The grotesque teeth marks and discoloration induces a shiver down Dina’s spine. 

_I still won’t leave you,_ Dina says. She repeats the sentence in her head several times as if it were an incantation to ward the infection again.

_ I won’t leave you. _

_ I won't leave you. _

…

Dina jolts awake. She didn’t ever ever recall falling asleep, but after peering through the door, she deduces from the lighting that it is now night time. She returns back to Ellie’s side and places her hand onto her friends chest. She looks down at the bite mark and notices the swelling and discoloration from the bite isn’t spreading.

_How?_ Dina thinks to herself. _How is she_ _still okay?_

Dina feels against her own skin, making sure she can experience sensation of her fingertips grazing across her arm. She’s able to form lucid thoughts she typically can’t in dream, so she reasons she this must be real.

Dina sighs and takes the situation at face value. She’s happy her friend hasn’t turned. She very much expected it, so Ellie’s still, apparently uninfected body makes her sigh in relief.  


Dina’s eyes trail up to Ellie’s calm face. She’s seen this type of expression before when she was in the infirmary, but it’s less detailed in this lightning. She glances at the silhouette of Ellie’s lips protruding from her face; and without thinking, she hovers her hand over them.

Dina lets her fingers float there before shakily pressing the tips of them against the surface. Ellie’s lips are soft - incredibly soft - just like how she imagined. Not only that, but they were smooth like velvet.Dina presses against them for a minute more before retreating her hand back onto Ellie’s chest.

Before Dina falls back asleep, she recalls a memory from earlier that day. She and Ellie were taking a secret route out of Jackson when Dina slipped and fell. Ellie extended her hand and helped pull her up.

“Just a heads up: your lip may be a bit busted from that fall,” Ellie said.

Dina put her hand up to her mouth. A mild sting of pain coursed through her as she felt against the bruise. “It can’t make my face any worse,” Dina said.

Ellie raised her eyebrow towards her, not understanding the comment. “What… what does that mean?”

Dina looked away, giving a sarcastic laugh. “It means I’m not necessarily attractive, Ellie,” Dina said, mostly joking. She walked away but noticed Ellie wasn't following her.

“Ellie?” Dina asked.

Ellie looked at her with a serious expression. “I think you’re absolutely beautiful,” she said.

Dina stood there, shocked by the comment. Even when she willed her legs to move, she stayed rooted at the spot - as if the tendrils of some invisible creature held her in place. Also, maybe it was her imagination, but Dina believed she felt every minuscule process in her body - down to the sweat forming behind her neck, to her heart contracting and expanding rapidly, and to the blood rushing towards her cheek. However, what Dina couldn’t feel was any kind of response forming in her mind.

“Lets get going,” Ellie interrupts. She walked past the other girl, and that snapped Dina out of her frozen state. She looked at Ellie and walked beside her. Their hands occasionally grazed against each other.

_Ellie,_ Dina thought. _You’re the only girl I ever want to love._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( Hi, guys. I don't respond to comments, but if you really wish to speak to me about something, then you can contact me via my tumblr. My username is written on my profile. Thanks, and I hope you have a nice day given the whole covid circumstances =P)


	7. Chapter 7

“Dina,” a young Jesse said.

The two were at the Jackson park - the place where the first met. Children swung in the swing seat a few yards away from them. Dina was newly orphaned then. Her mother and Talia were both killed on their way out of New Mexico. She was taken in by her uncle but rarely talked to any townsfolk besides him, so she viewed the boy in front of her suspiciously.

“I like that name,” the boy said, smiling cheekily through his winter hood. “Mine is Jesse.”

Dina looked him up and down. He had a chubby face, wide shoulders, spiky hair, and a handsome grin. She thought it odd that he spoke to her so warmly and without any apparent reason. “Oh…” Dina says, looking at him inquisitively. “... Kay?”

Jesse continued to smile at her, even after the fairly neutral response. He asked her if she wanted to walk around town, and Dina obliged. Five hours later, the sun was setting, and the girl already considered him her “friend.” Until then, only Talia had that role, but Dina felt calling him that just felt so correct.

“Want to meet up tomorrow?” Jesse asked.

Dina nodded. “Where at?”

Jesse smiled. “The park.”

The two said their goodbyes. They were 15 then. Two weeks later, they finished reading _City of Thieves_ together. Jesse wanted Dina to be his Vika. Even though Dina didn’t necessarily see Lev in Jesse, she thought it would be nice to have someone that loved her the way the book described it. There was surely a deficit of love in her life since Talia and her mom passed. 

After dating Jesse for a while, Dina started acting differently. Jesse didn’t necessarily change her, but he did make her more comfortable with the others in town. The girls and boys their age soon gravitated to Dina once she started becoming more gregarious. She eventually found herself a community in them and Jackson as a whole.

Everything was so clean and perfect and routine then. Dina reasons that must be why things had to change so abruptly when Ellie came along. She guesses she was in violation of some implicit law stating that nothing can be idyllic in a zombie apocalypse: there must always be strife. So therefore, the universe bewitched Dina into feeling hopelessly enamored with her new best friend Ellie while being in a relationship with a loving and nearly perfect boyfriend. And this situation was impossible to reconcile without picking one over the other.

…

"Dina!"

Dina jolts up to see the door of the stockroom open. The chair they placed against the entrance toppled over, and a bloater is now waddling towards them. The sight of the creature overwhelms Dina with adrenaline, causing her to get up.

“Shit, Ellie!” Dina yelled, looking around frantically for her friend. She sees her leaning against the wall with her shotgun drawn. Its muzzle is pointed at the infected.

“Dina, run!” Ellie screamed.

Dina sprints across the room, away from the bloater. After gaining a few yards of distance, Ellie blasts a shell into the creature's stomach. Clouds of gas expel from its body, and it gives a haunting groan. Before Dina can recover from shock, Ellie shoots two more shots. 

Dina watches as the creature falls to the ground. She coughs as the acrid gas penetrates into her nostrils. Her eyes water.

Ellie turns and crawls to the exit. Dina gets her things then runs to her friend's side. She helps her up, and they walk into the alleyway. 

“Tell me it didn’t hurt you,” Dina says, panting.

Ellie shakes her head. “I’m fine… We need to get out. The noise will attract them.”

Dina nods. They walk towards the edge of town and find the highway in which they came from. After taking a break to change Ellie's bandages, the two march down the long road in the direction of Jackson. Before they reach half-way there, night ascends onto them. Dina immediately takes notice around starts looking around. 

“Ellie,” Dina whispers into her ear.

Ellie doesn’t respond. She looks half asleep. Her eyelids droop, and she’s silent - just like she was the many hours they’ve walked. Dina knows that her friend isn’t being this way to spite her, but she can’t help but feel disheartened by the lack of response. Still, Dina wills herself to go on for both their. As they turn a corner, she notices a break in the trees.

“There’s a cabin over there,” Dina says softly. She leads both of them off the road and onto a dirt path. The little remaining sunlight peeks through the branches of trees and dimly illuminates the shape of a cabin, pointy tips of grass, and the flat texture of dirt. Once Dina makes it to the front porch, she plops Ellie and herself onto the steps. She pants then puts her hand against Ellie’s chest. After being reassured by her friend’s heartbeat, she goes towards the cabin’s entrance.

The door is locked. _What did I expect?_ Dina thinks as she grabs nearby rocks and throws them through a window. She jumps through the hole she made, scraping her thigh and arm against some remaining shards. “Fuck,” Dina says underneath her breath. She applies pressure onto her arm while unlocking the door.

Ellie lies against the porch floor. Her entire body is motionless except for her chest, which rises up and down slowly. Dina limps towards her. She helps her friend up, and a sting of pain shoots through her leg. Her jeans become moist with blood.

“I’m here, babe,” Dina says gently into Ellie’s ear. She drags the unresponsive girl with her into the house. She then sets Ellie onto the couch.

Dina finds a few rags around the cabin, so she uses them to bandage up her wounds. After she does so, she realizes how incredibly light headed she feels. Her breathing is strained, and she doesn’t have the energy to stand; instead, she crawls towards Ellie. Placing her crossed arms against the couch cushions, she looks up at her friend from the floor.

“Ellie,” Dina whispers. “Tell me you’re okay.”

Ellie’s eyes are closed. Even if her friend is conscious, Dina reasons she probably wouldn’t have the energy to respond. But even knowing that, Dina feels incredibly devastated and lonely. She cups Ellie’s cheeks. _They’re so cold_ , Dina says to herself solemnly. 

“Please be okay,” Dina begs. She grabs Ellie’s hand and holds onto it while she lies on the floor. She doesn’t leave the ground. She had no energy to do so; and even if she did, she didn’t want to leave Ellie’s side.

_Even in the worst of times, I feel safe with you,_ Dina thinks to herself before dozing off into a dreamless sleep. After a few hours into the early morning, Dina wakes up to the sound of footsteps. She opens her eyes yet doesn’t move. The living room of the cabin is filled with a warm, yellow light and some tall shadows of unknown figures.

“D-dina?” a voice says.

Dina doesn’t register who the people are. She only notices that her hand is still holding onto Ellie’s.

“Fuck! Someone call Tommy so he can bring more horses,” the voice says. “We found them!”

The sound of someone sprinting fills Dina’s ears. After it passes, Dina closes her eyes. The voice speaks and is responded to by another. Even though it’s likely a group from Jackson, Dina doesn’t have the energy at the moment to get up and thank them for their rescue. The knowledge that her and Ellie aren't in immediate danger eases her. She succumbs to her fatigue and falls back asleep.

...

When Dina wakes again, she realizes she's in the Jackson infirmary. Turning her head, she notices the beds and chairs are empty except for the one by her side occupied by a napping Jesse.

"J-jesse," Dina says.

The boy grumbles in his sleep. Dina sits up on the bed and says his name more loudly, resulting in Jesse waking up. He looks around in a disgruntled manner before realizing where he is and who is in front of him.

"Oh my g-" Jesse starts to say.

"Where is she?" Dina interrupts him.

Jesse looks at her with bewilderment before lowering his eyebrows. He leans back into his chair. "In the operation room. Dr. Zhou is trying to salvage her leg," he says flatly.

Dina puts her hands up to her face and rubs her eyelids, hoping to rub away at her weariness. She asks a few more questions about Ellie, and Jesse responds monotonously.

Dina takes a break from the questions to opens her eyes and exhale. "You must have been really worried," she says, looking over at her boyfriend.

Jesse doesn't respond. He taps his foot against the ground like a metronome keeping a consistent beat.

Dina says, "I'm really sorry for getting in so much shit-"

"You didn't even tell me you were going, Dina," Jesse says sternly. "People were asking me where you were, and I literally didn't know. You may have well have just disappeared without telling me."

Dina sits on the bed and simply spectates Jesse as he effectively scolds her. After he does, she looks away. "I... I thought we'd only be a day or two."

"A day or two?" Jesse says, his voice rising in volume and intensity. "And it never came across your mind to just tell me? I tell you if I'm even unavailable for one hour. I sure as hell would tell you if I'd be gone for a day."

Dina looks at him and catches his eye. With her full attention, he expounds on how worried he and the others were about her.

"Not to mention you've just been..." Jesse says but then trails off. He breathes heavily, and Dina waits for the rest of his speech.

"You've just... just been acting unlike yourself," Jesse says. His voice is shaky and less stern. "It's like I'm speaking to you but you aren't listening. It makes me feel so absolutely alone and like... like you're not there. Like... like you don't..."

Dina gulps and braces for his words.

"... Like you don't love me anymore, Dina," Jesse says. He scoots his chair over, revealing that his furious expression gave way to a vulnerable and sullen one. He places his hand onto the side of Dina' bed.

Dina feels the pit of guilt in her stomach weigh her down more than it ever did before. What felt like a golf ball sized lump has now swelled to one the size of a watermelon. It tugged at her, and she could barely breathe. She barely has the composition to reply. "I... I..." Dina starts to say.

"Just say it," Jesse pleads to her.

Dina shakily breathes in. Her vision becomes blurred and tears pool into her eyes under the realization that Jesse is right - that he knows her feelings better than she does now. While she does care and love him, she isn't _in_ love with him, and this absence of reciprocation on her part devastates her.

Dina cycles through the many things to say. She wants to comfort Jesse and make him know that it's not him - that it's all her. If she could get up from bed, she would stand beside him and hold him. But she knows that most likely won't assuage the pain he's in. She realizes that what's needed has long been overdue.

"I'm so sorry, Jesse," Dina hoarsely says. "I _don't_ feel the same way."

Jesse looks at her intently. His pupils hastily look between her two eyes, as if searching for any sign that what she's telling him is false. After realizing it isn't, he breaks away. He stands then picks up a backpack lying on the floor.

"I don't understand it, either," Dina injects in before Jesse leaves. Her voice breaks mid sentence and she represses the urge to cry out. More tears trail down her cheeks - too many for her to wipe away. "I don't understand it."

_I truly don't_ , Dina thinks. Jesse heads towards the exit, slinging his bag over his back. Dina thinks it would be easier if they both hated each other, but she knows that isn't the case now. Dina's hands tighten around the linen underneath her and bawl into fists. The life she built in Jackson is becoming undone. Jesse, her best friend and now ex-boyfriend, walked away from her, and Dina is in love with someone who she doesn't even know feels the same way. As clanks and other noises escape from the operating room, she's reminded of the instability in her situation.

_I feel... so small_ , Dina thinks as she lies down her head. She pulls her legs up to stomach and hugs them. She falls asleep once she becomes distracted by the ticking of the clock near her. Her dreams are restless and she yearns for someone or something to hold her and tell her in this dream-state that everything will be okay.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (School started, but do please don't fret. =) This series will be finished.)


End file.
